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A snippet from Janaya Black's upcoming book, "The Breaking Point" Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, as I pushed stop on my tape recorder. I breathed out deeply because it seemed like I had been holding it the entire time she had been telling her story. I watched her as she silently cried and relived the torment of her brother's death. Her body shook a little as she tried to regain her composure, and I looked away in order to give her some sort of privacy, to collect herself without feeling embarrassed. This woman was amazing to me; she had endured so much in her life and yet she wasn't the broken down mess that I had expected her to be. She held an air of confidence and self worth that is rare in many women. "Would you like to end our session for today and pick up next week?" I asked. "Yes, I think that would be best," she replied, as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Ok, Ms. Hayes, thank you so much for your time," I said, as I began to gather my things to leave. "No, thank you, Vanessa, for allowing me to put my soul to rest," she said sadly, as the guard came forward to undue her restraints. I stood and watched silently as they led her back to her cell and wondered what other earth shattering events could lead her to murder. She seemed too reserved and in control of herself for that. Just from the strength and composure she showed over the past few hours in telling her story, it was hard for me to imagine her giving in to a fit of rage like that, even after hearing about the brief violent episodes in her past. To me those seemed more like self-defense or better yet, defense of her brother. As I drove home from the prison, I replayed the session on my recorder and evaluated everything that was said. Then I pulled out the case file from the murder that occurred just two years ago, and tried to picture the woman I had just left doing the things that were mentioned in its pages. I couldn't do it. One thing was certain- I would know before it was all said and done. |
